I'm still tryna see what THAT be like.

I dont even know what to think these days, I got so much goin' from school problems, to money problems, to friend problems, to health problems. So as I try to slow things down and make sense of everything I just do the opposite and things get more and more confusin'. All I want is to be able to go to sleep and wake up on my birthday(July 18th). Its like everything is on my mind at one time so I can't concentrate on any one thing, then once I do focus in on somethin' I don't know what to do about it. My deepest fear is not that I'm inadequate, but that someone wont be able to see past and/or deal with those inadequacies. Now I'm not just talkin' about ANYBODY I mean someone close to me, more like someone I wanna be with. Maybe I'm just worryin' too much, maybe I've got too much on my mind to make sense of anything, whateva it is, its eatin away at me ALL the time. Maybe what I need is someone to reassure me that I'm worryin' for no reason, that my insecurities are all in my head. Either way I can't just give up, even though I may feel like it sometimes, cuz I'm still tryna see what THAT be like.

Till next time,

TOPSYKRET